Slurpee Heaven in KC
All right, this is how it goes. I live in Iowa (please no jokes about corn, pigs, or septuplets), where you might say we have had a long Slurpee shortage. We used to have 7-Elevens in Cedar Rapids when I was a wee child, but then some quite unremarkable places called Kwik Shops took them over. Let me tell you, things have not been the same since. Of course, whenever I travel I keep an eagle eye peeled for that trusty green and orange sign. Last summer, some friends and I took a road trip out to Wyoming/Colorado. We were all quite happy to find the first 7-Eleven in Cheyenne, Wyoming. If you've never been to Cheyenne, you must go. They have a 7-Eleven there right behind a drive-through liquor store. It's a riot. We also found many a sept-onze (francais) in Boulder and Denver, CO. However, my greatest Slurpee came in Kansas City. My dad and I took a little trip down to see relatives and a Cubbies-Royals game. The whole trip, I prophesized 7-Elevens and then gave up hope within minutes. My dad seemed mildly amused, but gave no further thought. Lo and behold, as we get near KC, my dad says we need some gas. We decide to pull the old LeBaron in at the next exit. To my utter amazement, a standard sign listing gas places included a certain sign that I would know in my sleep. Sure enough, we pulled in and I rushed to into the magnificent shrine. They had 4 machines and I sampled all flavors but banana as I've had mixed experiences with that one. My Strata cup looked like a beautiful rainbow. It truly was one of the greatest finds, as we did not see another 7-Eleven in KC during our entire trip, even though there are supposedly others. If any of this is amusing or enlightening, it doesn't really matter. Just remember that you should never move to/visit any part of my beautiful state hoping for Slurpees. That is, until I have successfully reintroduced 7-Elevens to every podunk town between the Mississippi and the Missouri.

Clint Guthrie ()