Dos and Don'ts  
Warning: ancient content from ~1999!

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Foreword
You think you can just go out and buy a Slurpee and slurp it down? Not so fast! Make sure you are up-to-date on your Slurpiquette (Slurpee etiquette) before rushing to the local 7-11. Read the information below and contribute your own ideas if anything's missing.

The Sacred List of Slurpee Commandments
DO put Slurpees in the freezer late at night (contrary to earlier reports), then in the morning you can carve your delicious balanced breakfast
DO hook up a Slurpee IV into your arm while you sleep so you still get Slurpee even when you're not awake
DON'T drink wanna-be Slurpees like Slushpuppies, Mr. Freeze, etc... they're all crap
DON'T lie about slurpee experiences
DO Be sure and get your PMS (pre meet SLURPEE) before all track meets.
DON'T drink a slurpee if you're being hunted. The telltale "slurp" of a slurpee-juice depleated cup will surely give you away.
DO be sure and get a napkin to turn the lil' Slurpee handle, otherwise you may end up getting a sticky hand from the Slurpee juices (at least, let's hope they're Slurpee juices!!) that have been smeared on the handle from people unskilled in proper Slurp techniques
DON'T be the hoser who gets the Slurpee dispenser handles all sticky. No one likes sticky Slurpee handles.
DO Be sure to post all stories and do's and don'ts. The stories help keep people occupied between SLURPEE runs.
DON'T Move to Japan. Although Slurpees do exist here, they exist only in a small, flavour deficient, bastardized form. Only one 7-11 in 10 has them, and the machine is strange and unfamiliar.
DO Get your girlfriend a big Slurpee if she wants it. I don't believe in the "don't buy your girlfriend a big Slurpee" idea. I'm a girl and I've bought Slurpees for BOYS who can't drink the whole thing.
DO Mix flavours! There is plenty of room for multiple flavours, and the beauty of the slurpee is the subtle gradient blending between two flavours, giving you an end result of a different flavour with every slurp. Always end with a topping of Coke, or Pepsi or Dr. Pepper if no Coke is available. It just looks cooler that way.
DON'T put chocolate syrup in your Slurpee. Chocolate is good and Slurpees are good, but not together. Sort of like Pizza and Ice Cream.
DON'T put a slurpee between your legs and plan on having sex the same day
DON'T drink the Slurpee right out of the machine (unless no one is looking and you are just "tasting")
DO remember to accompany your Slurpee with an appropriate snack. I recommend "Nutty Bars." They're nutty.
DON'T don't mix any alcoholic beverages with your ever so good delicious tasting Slurpee
DO mix Vodka and Slurpee together. (if you're of legal drinking age, of course) It become what we know as a "Nailgun" up here in Canada!
DON'T ever take the spoon straw for granted. It is a good tool and a good friend when you are the first to get a Slurpee from the machine after a few hours of perculation, when the gourmet Slurpee runs like a beautiful river into you 32oz.+ cup
DO take advantage of the "Sprite" flavor, as it only comes out practically once a year (usually in the summer) and is only used when all the other flavors are gone


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Brad Fitzpatrick